[Harvey narrating]

Now I knew Auntie Velma drank a lot, but I didn't know she ate liquor for breakfast. I don't ever remember laughing so hard at the table while eating. When I was in Chicago with Mama, I couldn't be around the grown-ups while they were talking. It was the total opposite here. My Aunties didn't even care if I was sitting there or not. Maybe I'm becoming the man of the house, or maybe I'm just a harmless 13 year old. Whatever it is, I'm enjoying it because Auntie Ruby looks good to me sitting across the table.

[scene: breakfast table. Ruby, Lily-D, and Harvey waiting. Enters Nancy and Velma]

[Velma] ...and he goes to your Church now?

[Nancy] Yeah Velma, he started going a couple of weeks ago.

[Velma] And he aint said nothing to you about yall marriage or anything?

[Nancy] No mother, he aint said a thing to me. He speaks to Lily though.

[Lily] Uh...excuse me, old people, can we say grace so we can eat?

[Nancy] I know you ain't talking to me, 19. Velma, can you please say grace so we can eat?

[Velma sets coffee cup with Shinny on the table] Lord, thank you for this food we about to eat. Thank you for corn 'cause with out it Ruby would have to sell her cookies full time, Amen!

[Ruby] I know you didn't say that about me to God...I already sell my cookies full time. AHEM! Why else do you think these men keep coming back for the Shinny?

[Velma laughs] I know that's right, girl. They be howling at the moon in the daytime!

[Nancy] Wait, what does that have to do with the Shinny?

[Velma] Oh you don't know? I filter the Shinny through your sister's underwear. That keeps 'em crazy. Now, I can't keep them fools away from here. Just look at all the fellas out there on the porch.

[Lily] Are you serious? Is that what yall do? How does that work?

[Ruby] Now's not the time Lily.

[Velma] Damn right it aint the time. Never's the time. Memoirs of an old hoe.

[Ruby] What?! I ain't old! I'm good, good enough to keep business coming.

[Velma] Coming is the key word here. Anyway...Nancy what you gone do about Carl?

[Nancy] I don't know. He doesn't talk to me, then he shows up at Church and still doesn't talk to me, and I can't get Lily to tell me what they be talking about afterwards.

[Lily] I told you, he just be asking what I be up to.

[Velma] Why the damn-hell he wanna know what you up to? You feeding him? Are you feeding him Lily?

[Lily] Naw! Why you say that? That's my brother-in-law!

[Velma] Good answer nig*a, good answer. I think I'm gonna have to go to Church tomorrow and observe. Something don't smell right, Lily.

[Nancy] That ain't necessary Velma. You'd burn up anyway. Not to mention you can't drink in the building.

[Ruby] And you can't carry your icepick either, Velma. Dont be trying to stab Carl and the pastor for being two lowlifes.

[Nancy] Girl, you just mad cause Pastor wont sleep with you.

[Ruby] Sh*t, I know more about Pastor Jenkins than his wife ever will! You know what? Maybe we should all go to Church tomorrow and bring our sh*ts. Harvey you got a weapon?

[Harvey] I got a slingshot, Auntie.

[Ruby] Make sure you get some rocks baby boy.

[SCENE]