I remember Momma telling me that she had to run errands first, then we'd go to Mc Donald's for lunch. I know it was a Saturday, not only because the voice told me, but I remember watching Muppet Babies in the morning. I like Muppet Babies. We loaded up in our '99 Contour, black with the rust trim. I really loved riding with Momma. Especially since I'd just graduated from the biggest car seat. *giggles* I couldn't see nothing, but I was free. We went to the corner store so she could cash her daddy check. Normally I'd go in with her, but I was so happy to be sitting on the seat, I cut up a little bit so I could stay in the car. At first I couldn't believe that it worked. She even left the keys in so I could hear the radio. A little time went by and she came out with a juice and chips for me.



After that we went to see my Momma's friend. He a was nice person. He bought candy for me all the time, and I watched TV a lot in his front room while him and Momma talked in the back. We didnt spend a lot of time over there this day though. I guessed she wanted to get to Mc Donalds, but we ended up at the mall. She said she had an appointment to get her nails done inside. She always said getting her nails done made her feel good about herself. So Momma parked near the door and told me to sit still and she'd be right back. I didnt care, I had music, juice and chips.



I saw a lot of people at the mall. A lot of old people, like Momma. I remember these two guys that kept peeking in the cars around ours. Back and forward, forward and back. It was almost like a fun game to watch them. Then I didn't see them anymore. I don't know how long I was in there, but I started to doze off. I was just about asleep when the door flung open - and it wasn't Momma. The two guys jumped in and started the car so fast, I didn't know what was happening. I started screaming and they weren't even shocked to see me. They yelled and cussed at me and told me to shut up. I was hysterical. I couldn't stop screaming. The passenger guy took his coat off and threw it over my head. He told me if I wanted to see my Momma again then I'd better shut up. I tried to hold it in the best I could, but I wanted to know where we were going, and when I was coming back. I played the hungry card and the guy that was driving told me that I didn't need food where I was going. Then I told him that I had to pee. I eventually went to sleep because we were riding for so long.


When we finally stopped there were a lot of trees. Like the forest in my old Snow White books. It was so peaceful. I pictured myself having a tea party with my animal friends and Barbie. It was what the voice from the light called "utopia" or something like that. The guy from the second seat yanked the door open. He snatched me out of the car and was dragged me by my arm down the dirt path between some trees. I remember kicking and screaming as hard as I could when he threw me down by near this body of water. I don't know if it was a lake or a pond. All I know is he jumped on top of me and started ripping my shirt and pants..

.

The voice from the light didn't tell me what happened next. He told me that it wasn't important, and that my Momma hasn't seen me; that she thinks I'm somewhere alive. Since I'm still missing, I have to wait in this room until they find my body...

When Sherry told me that she wanted to do her version of "Tales from the Other Side", I was beside myself. Although the feedback was good from the pilot, I somehow found myself distracted from what I was trying do with the series.

Ladies and Gentlemen, A gifted writer and person, Sherry...The Messenger

Chile how I ended up here in this room is so beyond me. I dont even have the slightest of clues, girlfriend and I know they say at the end you're supposed to go toward the light. But I had no idea that it would be anything like this; some kind of weird interrogation room with a light shining in my pretty face. Now that's sho nuff some kinda stretch from what I was thinkin'. What's my story, you ask? Well lets put it like this honey chile, I ain't never been in the safest profession. Some would even classify it as a crime, but I'm here to tell you baby, my only crime was being pretty. Walkin' the ave is a right baby, and you betta believe I knows my rights! This particular night though it was business as usual. Everybody who rides up my block knows what I am; I ain't never tried to hide it. But I aint no whore, Im a strutter baby, there is a big difference. The boys drive up and I struts to they car. I aint doin this for no crack, you see girlfriend. Im doin this to pay my bills. You work at a desk with your white collar while some work in a factory with they blue collar. Well baby, my collar is pink and I work on the streets you dig? Mind if I get one of them squares honey; and gone 'head and give me a light while I finish tellin you 'bout my night suga. Thank you. Now like I was sayin' everybody knows who and what I am. I aint keepin no secrets. And I guess the other broads on the block was gettin' pissed with me cuz they feel they pockets gettin' light. I cant help it if what Im givin them boys is better than what they can offer. Like I said before baby, my only crime was being pretty; but I suppose they felt like I was takin' they money. I ain't been workin' this block all that long either. It got too hot for me where I was before. The cops ran me off. When I first got on this block the girls wasn't trippin' on me. I guess they figured I wasnt no competition for them.. (Chuckles) Huh! that changed real fast. All the tricks wanted me. It got to the point that I was sore all the time and almost couldnt handle the demand. But I hung in there like a champ. Like I said, this is my bread and meat. If I ain't buckin', I dont eat.This one particular girl; the head fish in the pond named Slimmie, she ain't never took no likin' to me. Said it was my fault all these germs is killin' folk. Guess she aint realizin' the same germs that can kill them can kill me, so I keeps myself protected, just like they ought to. Well Slimmie sashays her Shonte' over my way and confronts me about suckin' off her pimp. Hell, money is money baby and if his girls ain't doin' it right, then my soft lips is welcomed to accommodate him. But Slimmie ain't like that. Said I aint have no business on the block no way. I guess she tried to lay claim to the street, but whatever baby. Ms Thang don't take no orders from nobody. And you bet your sweet balls, baby; yes indeed I went back and told her pimp that he'd betta keep his hoes in check. I'm not sure tellin' him that she confronted me was the right thing to do because he was mad as hell that she even knew. Started askin' me all kinds of questions, who she was with, who else knows, what did I say to her, how she find out, I mean all kinds of questions baby, a million of em. And even though he tried to play it cool I knew that he was mad enough to spit fire like my granny used to say. He told me that he was gon' take care of her and left it at that. I was cool with that too. As long as he put his beyoch in check everything was fine by me. Well late one night I gets a call on my cell. It was Slimmie's pimp tellin' me that he had her strung up. Said if I wanted a piece to teach her a lesson just come through. I started not to because him whoopin' her up was enough for me. But then I started thinkin', if he's got my back and I put my punches in, all the rest of them fishy hoes would have no choice but to respect me too. I took down the math and headed for the spot where they was holed up. It was some old dark secluded area and the smell was horrible. It smelled like a garbage dump which was probably because the town incinerator was nearby. Stray cats mewed loudly and scattered as the sound of my heels clacked up the alley toward the destination that Mr. Pimp Man had given me. They must've been waiting for me because as soon as I stepped through the threshold I immediately felt a tight stinging sensation around my neck. The last thing I remember was hearing her laugh while he grumbled, I don't like no beans and franks beyoch. Then I'm here; that's about all I can tell ya. I know I'm dead cuz heres my soul. Where my body is, I couldn't even tell ya, and don't nobody else know either. I don't guess nobody even cares. I know all them girls is glad that I ain't there no more. I know they hated being showed up every night by a man. But like I said before baby, it ain't my fault that them boys was likin' the way I was givin it to...or takin' it from 'em. My only crime was being pretty, so don't judge me cuz any day it could be you.

[scene Trinity Baptist Church. Ruby and Lily re-enters and sits down in their original seats next to Velma and Nancy]



[Ruby to Lily] Now, are you sure this is what you wanna do? [giggles]



[Lily nods]



[Ruby mumbling] Lord, please forgive us for whats about to happen, 'cause it's about to happen. Hmm, it's kinda nice to talk to you. Lets do it again sometime when I don't need your forgiveness. [leaves the building]



[Velma] Where the hell is she going?

[Nancy] I don't know. Lily?



[Lily] I dunno sis. I'm sure she'll be right back

[Sister Mattie] ...the head of my life. Pastor, First Lady, pulpit, Mothers and Saints. He is alive. just the other day, I was in the kitchen trying to rinse a bowl my great-grandson had used for his oatmeal. I took a step back to pick up the rag I dropped on the flo', slipped on a wet spot and fell on my hip. I had been down there for eternity when my granddaughter came home to fetch her boy. When I tell you that Jesus smiled on me the that day, you better believe it...

[Lily stands]



[Sister Mattie] ...she took me to the hospital and they fixed me right up. I tell you, it's all God. He didn't have to send my grandbaby home to discover me laying there. I could've bled to death...



[Velma] How the hell you gone bleed from falling on your damn hip. Hell, she only 55. She ain't even on the Mother Board. What's she doing standing up?



[Nancy] It looks like Lily gone testify. This oughta be good when she stop talking.

[Sister Mattie] ...the graciousness of God who is persistent to my needs. I thank you Lord and please remember to keep me in your prayers, Saints.



[Lily] Ahem, thank you Lord for allowing me to ---

[Carl falling inside the Church doors screaming] Help me! I've been stabbed! I need a doctor. [crying]



[Pastor Jenkins] What?! um, er uh, Deacons help him! Help brother Carl! [slips out back door]

[Harvey narrating] I didn't know what was happening when uncle Carl came in screaming. All the guys ran to him and stood around while all the ladies except my Aunties were screaming. It was like one of those mysteries we listen to on the radio at night. I couldn't help but to wonder if Auntie Ruby had anything to do with that. Ruby...she looked good in that red dress. I felt funny, in a good way. Auntie Nannie grabbed me by the hand and led me outside where everybody was.



[Nancy] You alright Harvey Poo?



[Harvey] Yes Ma'am, I'm fine. I guess I'm a little scared. I never saw anybody get stabbed in the neck before.



[Nancy] Come on, lets go home. You seen Velma?

[Harvey] She was right here just a minute ago Auntie.



[Velma to Carl] Carl! What happened? Who did this to you?



[Carl] Why do you care? [grunts] Ain't this what you want? Or is it my money?

[Velma] Oh lawd he delirious! Don't talk no mo' Carl. [leaning forward] Just shut up.



[Carl] Somebody tried to rob me around the corner... [grunts] I don't have my billfold though. I must've...oh...[grunts] oh....

[scene]





[scene: Family house. Nancy leaves Harvey in his room and goes up to see Ruby in her room. She's stopped outside the door by loud voices coming from the inside]





[Ruby] ... stabbed him in his neck, and I didn't do it. I told him I would kill him. Yeah, I did say that, but I ain't gonna half-ass do the job. If I'ma put the knife on him, we'll be eating him for dinner. Wait a minute, I know you ain't up here questioning me about Carl. Let's question you, Velma. Why was you up in Carl's face after he got stabbed? The reason you came to Church with yo' weapon in the first place was to get him for being a jackass to Nancy. Asking questions about them like you ain't know anything, then up in his face all concerned when he laying on the ground, bleeding. What's that about?




[Velma] What the hell is you talking about? I didn't have nothing to do with Carl getting cut. You need to ask Nancy why she just stood there when her husband all bleedin' and shit everywhere. Ask that.

[Ruby] I'll make sure I do that, but right now, I need to know why you up here accusing people for doing something to somebody you don't even like. [cocks head]




[Velma] Don't even start that shit, Rouge. I'm just asking questions.

[Ruby] Ask yourself why you pimping your little sister since you got questions.




[Velma] ...

[Ruby] Do I got something on my face? whatchu lookin' at? I know all about it. I know all about you setting Lily D up to woo Carl, get him to sleep with her, fake a pregnancy, and blackmail him outta his money.

[Nancy mouthing] What?!




[Ruby]...is that Lily got pregnant, but you knew about that, didn't you Vel? What you don't know is what to do next, right? [opens beer]




[Velma, taking a big gulp of her Shinny, speaking calmly] Look, we all hustlas, Ruby. Don't you sit here and judge me like you all squeaky clean. I don't question how you get money and you don't question me, especially since all the money goes to the house anyway. Now..don't let Lily tell you that she being pimped by me. [Turns to Lily] I'm sorry you got pregnant by Carl. How are we gonna tell Nancy that her husband got a baby by her sister? She can't have kids either? But I didn't force you Lily. When I came to you, I was sober and I laid the plan out so you'd understand. You agreed to it. I didn't plan on you falling in love with Carl. I didn't plan on Carl getting stabbed out the deal.

[Lily] Who said he was stabbed because of this?

[Velma] I...I'm just saying, Lily. I didn't plan on these things happening. Yeah, I thought it would be a good idea to scheme on Carl. Hell, iont know what the hell good could've came outta this. I just wanted revenge for him doing my sister wrong, that's all. I'm sorry yall.

[silence]







[Ruby] If you don't get yo' drunk ass outta my room right now, Ima see you.


[Nancy creeps downstairs]


[Velma] What?! I just spilled my feelings all over this room and that's what you think about it?




[Ruby] You ain't spill shit but yo' drink. Go lay down, and we'll talk later. You been drinking since...what's that smell?




[Velma] IT'S MEEEEEEEE WOOOOOO!!! Gimme some Ruby!

[Ruby] Give you some what?

[Velma singing] Somma your beeeeer! I don't have nonnnne! I just want soooooome!



[Ruby] Bye Velma.



[Velma] That's alright, Rudy! You gone wish I was still in here.



[Velma leaves]

[Lily] I can't believe myself, Red. What's wrong?

[Ruby] Something's not right. [looks to the right and stares at a blank spot on the wall] Go find Nancy...

[Ruby] What the Fu*k? I know this aint what I'm seein' and hearin'! Lily? You pregnant by this?

[Carl] Ruby...

[Ruby] I'll be with you in a minute. Lily, look at me. [pointing at Carl] This...is whose baby you got?

[Lily, sheepishly] Ma'am...

[Ruby] Ma'am?

[Ruby lunges toward Carl connecting blows repeatedly until his head is bleeding on the floor. She then grabs Lily by her shirt while she's still on the bed, yelling] What the fu*k is wrong with you?!! That's a low-life ni**a and now you're gonna have a low-life ni**a slidin' outta yo' ass? What, you thought nobody was gonna come check on you Lily? The Church is down the street and you're supposed to be there. You lucky Velma or Nancy didn't come home to this, and I still feel like kicking some mo' ass Carl!

[Lily crying] I just wanna have my freedom, thats all. I'm tired. Tired of Velma bossing me around and telling me what I can and can't do.

[Ruby] What...the fu*k does that got to do with you getting knocked up by Nancy's husband?

[Lily] Nothing, just...

[Ruby] Just what dammit? [through clenched teeth] You better start makin' sense NOW!



[Lily] Velma...she knows. She's the one who set us up with each other. She found out about Carl getting the job at the factory, and she wanted to find a way to get his money...that's where I come in.

[Carl, still nursing on the floor] What?!

[Ruby kicking Carl in the head] Shut up!!!! What you say, Lily?

[Lily] *sigh* She wanted me to get close to him and fake a pregnancy so we could blackmail him outta his pay.

[Ruby, yelling louder] And you agreed to that dumb sh*t? You're pregnant for real, Lily! What the fu*k is you thinkin'?!

[Lily] I just wanted her offa my back. She said I could do what I want if I did that favor for her.

[Ruby] Favor? [pacing] You let your sister pimp you? In exchange for getting out the house a little bit? You're almost 20 Lily! You can move out if you get a job, but you turned down Emogene's housekeeping job 4 times and she still wants you over there. Now you into blackmailing people for money?!

[Lily] I just wanna be like you, Red. All the fun, the freedom, the men and the money...I want that. I thought you'd understand or at least be proud.

[Ruby, taking off shoes and earrings] Get UP!!! Bitch, put up your damn dukes! GET 'EM UP!!! Like me? Proud? You don't know nothing about being me! Everyday I dig myself deeper and deeper in the hole internally when I party at the jook joints, hustling, scamming dumb men like Carl's DUMB ass. Now I wasn't gonna fuss at you for being pregnant, but Carl? That's your sister's husband!! How you gonna tell her?

[Lily] I don't wanna fight, Red. He said he didn't want her. He said he wanted me. I didn't know I was gonna fall for him and get pregnant! Ruby...

[Ruby] Hush, I need to figure out how to do this. Whose ass to whoop [saying to herself] How do I do this?

[Lily] Do what, Red?

[Ruby] Didn't I say shut up talking to me? Are you two slow? Get your clothes on, we going back to Church. Carl, get the hell outta my house. If I see you near Lily again, I'm going to jail. Lily, get my gun. Damn a icepick.

[scene]

[SCENE: Trinity Baptist Church. Enters Nancy, Velma, Ruby, and Harvey]


[Harvey to Nancy] Its a lotta people in here Auntie.

[Nancy] I know, it's First Sunday baby. That's when everybody shows up.

[Harvey] There wont be any room for Lily to sit down if she don't get here soon.

[Ruby] She better hurry fo' I go back and snatch her ass out that bed. I know that's where she is.

[Velma] I told her prissy behind to get the lead out. [sneaks sip of shinny] Dragging around like she got a problem.

[Nancy whispering] Shh...pastor is talking, and you got the problem.

[Pastor Jenkins] ...and He giiiiiiiiives you blessings. Now everyone gets blessings. You hard-headed ones who are just barely making it, are "functionally blessed". Now, it's not Gawd's in-ten-tion........to functionally bless anyone. Our blessings are intended to supply us beyond our wildest dreams, but some of you are blocking your blessings by backstabbing and backsliding...

[Ruby to Velma] He'll be sliding his back over to the house after service with his black ass, getting drunker than Scooter Jones!

[Velma] Girl, you know the first lady aint gonna let that happen today. It's First Sunday.

[Ruby] Girl you smell like Smitty up in here. You drinking in Church? Anyway, First Sunday is all the more reason to let him leave. More money for her to count today, so she'll let him be gone all day if he needs to be...and he's gonna need to be.

[Pastor Jenkins] ...says that you would have denied me three times! Why would you want to deny Him? Well, because some of you claim the Lord while in the building, but outside the building, you are ashamed of Him. Some of you look around before praying over your food in public. Ashamed of people looking at you. Those of you like that will remain functionally blessed.

[Velma to Nancy] Where's Carl?

[Nancy] I don't know. He's usually here early and stays here to talk to Lily after service. Speaking of Lily, why isn't she here yet?





[Ruby] Lemme go get that heffa. Velma...the icepick. Something tells me Ima need to stab this bitch.

[Harvey narrating] Dang, I never seen Auntie Ruby look so good and so mad at the same time. I didn't know what was happening, but the way my Aunties were whispering to each other, something was wrong. Maybe they were taking low because it was rude to talk in Church. I do know that much. I know that drinking liquor in Church was rude too, but that's Velma. She does what she wants. She got that icepick and probably a gun too in there waiting to shoot Uncle Carl as soon as he walked in.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


[SCENE: The house. Lily and Carl in Lily's room]



[Lily] Carl, I'm pregnant. You know that right?

[Carl] You what? You can't be pregnant. That ain't good Lily. How we gonna get rid of it?

[Lily] What you mean? I thought we were gonna be together? You told me you love me, right?

[Carl] I'm married to Nancy, and I said I love your body baby. How do you think we're gonna be together?

[Lily] You aint say that when you was on top of me pumpin' and sweatin'. Velma's gonna kick my ass up and down the street, then kick me out. I'm gonna have to stay with you. Besides, you don't even care about Nancy.

[Carl] I aint about to have this conversation with you right now Lily. Don't you gotta be at Church or something?

[Lily] Don't do that! [crying] Don't treat me like I'm some kid. I ain't gotta go nowhere. What you gonna do Carl? Are you gonna take care of us?

[Carl] Lily, I gotta go. I can't deal with this right now. We'll talk later.

[Ruby] Naw Mothafu*ka, we gon' talk about this NOW!




[SCENE]

[Harvey narrating]

Now I knew Auntie Velma drank a lot, but I didn't know she ate liquor for breakfast. I don't ever remember laughing so hard at the table while eating. When I was in Chicago with Mama, I couldn't be around the grown-ups while they were talking. It was the total opposite here. My Aunties didn't even care if I was sitting there or not. Maybe I'm becoming the man of the house, or maybe I'm just a harmless 13 year old. Whatever it is, I'm enjoying it because Auntie Ruby looks good to me sitting across the table.

[scene: breakfast table. Ruby, Lily-D, and Harvey waiting. Enters Nancy and Velma]

[Velma] ...and he goes to your Church now?

[Nancy] Yeah Velma, he started going a couple of weeks ago.

[Velma] And he aint said nothing to you about yall marriage or anything?

[Nancy] No mother, he aint said a thing to me. He speaks to Lily though.

[Lily] Uh...excuse me, old people, can we say grace so we can eat?

[Nancy] I know you ain't talking to me, 19. Velma, can you please say grace so we can eat?

[Velma sets coffee cup with Shinny on the table] Lord, thank you for this food we about to eat. Thank you for corn 'cause with out it Ruby would have to sell her cookies full time, Amen!

[Ruby] I know you didn't say that about me to God...I already sell my cookies full time. AHEM! Why else do you think these men keep coming back for the Shinny?

[Velma laughs] I know that's right, girl. They be howling at the moon in the daytime!

[Nancy] Wait, what does that have to do with the Shinny?

[Velma] Oh you don't know? I filter the Shinny through your sister's underwear. That keeps 'em crazy. Now, I can't keep them fools away from here. Just look at all the fellas out there on the porch.

[Lily] Are you serious? Is that what yall do? How does that work?

[Ruby] Now's not the time Lily.

[Velma] Damn right it aint the time. Never's the time. Memoirs of an old hoe.

[Ruby] What?! I ain't old! I'm good, good enough to keep business coming.

[Velma] Coming is the key word here. Anyway...Nancy what you gone do about Carl?

[Nancy] I don't know. He doesn't talk to me, then he shows up at Church and still doesn't talk to me, and I can't get Lily to tell me what they be talking about afterwards.

[Lily] I told you, he just be asking what I be up to.

[Velma] Why the damn-hell he wanna know what you up to? You feeding him? Are you feeding him Lily?

[Lily] Naw! Why you say that? That's my brother-in-law!

[Velma] Good answer nig*a, good answer. I think I'm gonna have to go to Church tomorrow and observe. Something don't smell right, Lily.

[Nancy] That ain't necessary Velma. You'd burn up anyway. Not to mention you can't drink in the building.

[Ruby] And you can't carry your icepick either, Velma. Dont be trying to stab Carl and the pastor for being two lowlifes.

[Nancy] Girl, you just mad cause Pastor wont sleep with you.

[Ruby] Sh*t, I know more about Pastor Jenkins than his wife ever will! You know what? Maybe we should all go to Church tomorrow and bring our sh*ts. Harvey you got a weapon?

[Harvey] I got a slingshot, Auntie.

[Ruby] Make sure you get some rocks baby boy.

[SCENE]

It happened so quick. Had I known that she would literally kill me, I never would've cheated with her. You see, I worked in this office with all these girls. Man it had all types of flavors. Young girls, jazzy older women - I loved the jazzy women. White girls that could make you call home and say, "Look here, I ain't never coming back...take care". Anyway, the reason why the problems that she and I had never affected my job was because of her. Because of her soothing voice, compassion, maturity and hips that did their own thang. It had come to the point where I was spending a lot of time at work...with her.

She and I were always arguing about something. I thought she just liked being a bitch. Something happened somewhere but I didn't care. All I knew was that I didn't sign up for this. The lack of communication, the foolish pride, and the need to scream wasn't her thing. Only she liked that type of stuff. Since I'm not much of an arguer, I'd just leave and meet her at the bar or motel. It became routine.

I didn't know you could adjust the "c.c." settings on the cell phones under text messaging. Apparently she did. One evening while I was taking a shower, she cc'd herself for every text that I sent or received. That was the beginning of the end. We text everything - her and I did, and all along she was gathering information to plot the perfect murder.

I should have suspected something when she became abruptly nice. You know, outta the blue. Hell, I still didn't care. All I knew was that I was having breasts and hips for dinner...every night. Her and I made plans per usual this particular Tuesday evening. She was stepping out also to meet with some consultants for dinner. It's funny how they tell you everything after you die. Like on one of those question and answer game shows. You miss the question and they tell you the correct answer anyway...like you get a second chance with your newly-found information or something. Apparently she was meeting with her husband whom she was now sleeping with. She checked her phone when it vibrated, and it was her confirming the meeting place...her house. Guys will do stupid things for a hip or two. Her husband couldn't believe that it was about to go down at his house of all places. After all he was supposed to be at the bowling alley with the fellas. Who knew?

They gave us about an hour before they walked up. They parked around the corner and walked to the 4-bedroom brick ranch-style house. Using the service door, they went into the garage and waited. Our cars were inside, so we would have to go back in there to move 'em out. She and her husband hid in a dark corner near the door. About 40 minutes later, the door from the house to the garage opened. It was her. She gave a fake birdcall to get her attention. Soon, the three were standing there talking. See, I hit the lottery for 6 million a couple of months prior. I was gonna quit my job, but she started tripping. Like I said, I wasnt gonna sit around the house every day and listen to that crap. Anyway, they go in, and her sexiness is coming back upstairs to where I was. They stay downstairs out of sight. A couple minutes later she sends me downstairs to grab the keys off the table. Long story short, I've been sitting here telling you the events leading to my death. Was it messy? I can't remember. Some things are actually a blur to me. Was there a funeral? Nope, I do know that I'm still missing. So until they find me, I'll be in this room, waiting...